My hospital room has a spectacular view of Pikes Peak. I mean spectacular. Breathtaking when you walk in and first see it. But I was so sick for my first four days here I hardly noticed. I probably should have been moved to a room with a view of the parking lot, so that someone who could appreciate the vista could have it. But I know I am really feeling better today because when I woke up this morning I saw the rising sun shine and the blue Colorado sky over the mountain range and I instinctively thought "Magnificent are Your works oh Lord, I will praise Your name forever."
So I'll give the story of this week but be brief. Second chemo ten days ago didn't ever subside. I never started feeling better or recovering really. First five days my husband had to do everything for the baby, and me really. Day six he was supposed to go back to work. The day started well enough, I was a little tired, but managed to get up and take care of baby, start some laundry and make a few calls, but suddenly as he was about to leave, I said "Honey I don't think you should go." I asked him if I could take a half hour nap before he left, but the nap didn't make me feel any better, and in fact I started getting chills. After an hour in the tub I was still shaking, and we called the Doc., who told us to come in. I've been "in" ever since.
Apparently I got some kind of infection. They have never been able to exactly locate the cause of the infection, but the strongest antibiotics they were giving me hadn't touched it after 24 hours so there was deep concern. During this time I was spiking fevers of 103 to 104. They decided to have a minor surgery to remove my "port" because as often happens with infections, the bacteria can latch onto the port and stick in the body. Also, as is par for the course, my white blood cell count was plummeting because I was approaching day 9 after chemo, which is it's lowest ebb.
Watching one's fever, for some reason made me feel like I was on some kind of numbers game at a casino. Every time a nurse would stick a thermometer in my ear I'd chant "low numbahs- come on low numbahs!" Then when I finally got the numbers I wanted I cheered like I'd won the lotto. The night after the port was removed the fevers went to 101-102. The next day and night 99-100, and early early this morning, I heard those happy four little words every cancer patient loves to hear. "Ninety-eight-point-six."
They are very hopeful I can go home tomorrow, Sunday. I am so eager to go to sleep in my own bed with husband nearby and my baby in the next room. I miss them both so much. I only got to have her for an hour yesterday. But even after that I was exhausted. I can't wait to be her mommy again. I can't wait to be her mommy again.
There are many things I can, and hopefully will write about this experience, but this is enough for now. Temp is back down, white cell count is slowly ascending, and Colorado is beautiful again. Thank you all for the prayers and ongoing love. Just reading this blog is a gift to me. Now I have to think of a brilliant way to make this all sound positive for the Caring Bridge site. Hey - was that brief? lol!
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